Cruel fate

The first thing Uncle said to me was, "your hair how, no need cut le ah?" Every year, right about this time, i will be down at his salon getting my hair cut to welcome the Chinese New Year... Not this year though... He look to be in great discomfort but tried to maintain a smile throughout. He even seemed a little guilty for not being able to cut my hair : (

CNY is just around the corner but this year seem to be lacking a little something. Actually a little more of the "little something" has been missing for each of the pass 6 CNYs. No more lifely gatherings filled with warmth and laughters at my place on reunion days. No more massive convoys formed to travel to all the different relatives homes to "bai nian". No more pop pops. No more hiding in the car with Jacqui to count our ang baos. No more "lao yu sheng" on the third or fourth morning. No more Chinatown visits with daddy and mummy in the wee hours of 30th night... No more anticipating how big daddy's ang bao will be... All the excitements have been replaced by somewhat depressing feelings. The never ending rain this year coupled with the sad sad news certainly took away what little festive feelings there is left. Even Auntie lulu and family will be away this year. They have taken over the "Host" role since daddy's demise...

I have nothing more to say. It's hard growing up. Let me leave you with this uber depressing song by 蕭煌奇 titled 末班車(The last train)



空 着 手 　 犹 如 你 来 的 时 候
kōng zhuó shǒu 　 yóu rú nǐ lái de shí hou
紧 皱 的 额 头 　 终 於 再 没 有 苦 痛
jǐn zhòu de é tóu 　 zhōng yū zài méi yǒu kǔ tòng
走 得 太 累 了 　 眼 皮 难 免 会 沉 重
zǒu dé tài lèi le 　 yǎn pí nán miǎn huì chén zhòng
你 没 错 　 是 应 该 回 家 坐 坐 　
nǐ méi cuò 　 shì yīng gāi huí jiā zuò zuò 　

鸣 笛 声 　 悄 悄 地 刺 进 耳 朵
míng dí shēng 　 qiāo qiāo dì cì jìn ěr duo
这 一 次 挥 手 　 恐 怕 再 没 机 会 问 候
zhè yí cì huī shǒu 　 kǒng pà zài méi jī huì wèn hòu
最 後 一 遍 了 　 换 你 躲 进 我 双 肘
zuì hòu yí biàn le 　 huàn nǐ duǒ jìn wǒ shuāng zhǒu
像 靠 在 　 曾 摇 动 我 的 天 空
xiàng kào zài 　 céng yáo dòng wǒ de tiān kōng

别 说 话 　 泪 水 你 别 带 走
bié shuō huà 　 lèi shuǐ nǐ bié dài zǒu
镜 子 里 的 我 　 已 留 下 你 　 轮 廓 上 的 笑 容
jìng zi lǐ de wǒ 　 yǐ liú xià nǐ 　 lún kuò shàng de xiào róng
别 回 眸 　 末 班 车 要 开 了
bié huí móu 　 mò bān chē yào kāi le
你 不 过 先 走 　 深 爱 是 让 不 舍 离 开 的 人 　 好 好 走
nǐ bú guò xiān zǒu 　 shēn ài shì ràng bù shě lí kāi de rén 　 hǎo hǎo zǒu

别 牵 挂 　 约 好 我 们 再 见
bié qiān guà 　 yuē hǎo wǒ men zài jiàn
散 步 的 午 後 　 要 像 从 前 　 再 挽 着 手 叙 旧
sàn bù de wǔ hòu 　 yào xiàng cóng qián 　 zài wǎn zhuó shǒu xù jiù
别 逗 留 　 末 班 车 要 开 了
bié dòu liú 　 mò bān chē yào kāi le
路 到 了 尽 头 　 回 头 是 爲 永 留 心 口 的 人 　 好 好 走
lù dào le jìn tóu 　 huí tóu shì wei yǒng liú xīn kǒu de rén 　 hǎo hǎo zǒu

Goodbye.